Living without rules part 2: The innate self, the social self and the root of human suffering

As I concluded last time, we come into this world in a state of wholeness. In fact, it could be said that we come from a state of wholeness, from the totality that is everything -- the limitless potentiality of the unmanifest. The moment the formless takes form, the limitless becomes limited as an apparent singularity, an object existing in time and space. (Bear with me!)

For the first several months of life, the new human being remains in a state of undifferentiation. The ego has yet to develop, and with it the sense of duality that arises from seeing oneself as an apparently separate and autonomous entity that’s quite apart from the environment around it as well as other people. As I said in my last entry, young infants exist in a state of oneness with the world around them. There are still objects perceived, but the notion of being separate from them has yet to arise in the developing consciousness.

A KNOT IN CONSCIOUSNESS

When the sense of “I”, “me” and “mine” arises -- and along with it the notion of “you” and “the world” as being something quite separate and alien -- the developing individual contracts into a ‘self’ and adopts a newly compartmentalised perception of reality. The sense of being a separate ‘self’, an individual entity that’s distinct from everything else (‘ego’), brings with it the need to protect, sustain and solidify this sense of individuality. That’s an important point because it’s this need to solidify the ego that underlies and motivates the behaviour of just about every human being on the planet.

This process is clearly part of the collective mental development of humankind, at least the stage of evolution we’re at. I already used the analogy of our sense of ‘self’ being like a knot in consciousness. The knot has no independent existence of its own, for it is just the rope folded in on itself. But it has an apparent existence and appears separate from the rest of the rope. This knot forms the basis of our sense of self. Like gravity, it draws objects toward itself, and as the layers build, our sense of self becomes ever more solidified and complex.

The objects that attach to the knot and form our psyche comprise various layers of conditioning, beliefs, opinions, likes and dislikes, habits and ways of relating to oneself, others and the world. Our gender, nationality, religion, social class become part of our identity and who we assume ourselves to be. These layers of mental content form the basis of our ego, of our self-image and sense of who we are.

Virtually all of this is programmed into us as children. With this realisation, we can see that there’s actually not a lot that’s ‘personal’ about it. Most of the material that makes up the ‘person’ we believe ourselves to be, is in fact second-hand and impersonal. The content is highly interchangeable, and is in fact changing all the time. It’s not solid and it’s certainly not ‘who we are’ in essence, yet we heavily identify with it. The original limitlessness and openness we experienced prior to the emergence of ego becomes contracted into a limited cluster of thoughts, beliefs and conditioning.

This conglomeration forms the basis of human identity and is what motivates just about every action and reaction throughout the course of an individual’s life. I often used to wonder what it is that motivates people’s behaviour, what it is that makes us do the things we do and what it is we’re ultimately trying to achieve. I came to the conclusion that one of our core motivations is the unconscious need to uphold and bolster our sense of self and identity. In other words, it’s all about ego maintenance.

Any perceived threat to -- or diminishment of -- our ego is almost tantamount to death, or oblivion. This primal fear of somehow losing what we take to be our ‘self’, is what’s unconsciously running the show. That, and the desire to maintain and expand our sense of self in order to feel better about ourselves and to make others perceive us the way we want to be perceived. People are willing to fight and die to uphold this image they have of themselves, and they frequently do.

THE INNATE SELF

The funny thing is, it’s not really who we are! We just think it is.

Our natural state, prior to assuming the mantle of an ego and all the mental content that comprises it, is boundless, open, unlimited and undefined. I believe this is our natural state because what’s natural feels GOOD. Our bodies and minds are designed to let us know what’s good or bad for us. Ease and peace are signals we’re in balance, while pain of any kind is a symptom that something is wrong, that we’ve slipped out of our natural wellbeing and must take action to resolve it. In a sense we were born to feel good! Feeling bad is a signal that something needs attention.

When we’re aligned with the ease, lightness, spontaneity and freedom of our innate self, expressing our deepest desires and loves without fear or restriction, we feel expansive, joyful and alive. Why wouldn’t we? Our innate self is completely natural, authentic and uncontrived. It’s simply pure and unconditioned consciousness/awareness, expressing itself through our bodies and minds. When we’re very young it effortlessly expresses itself, freely and without censure.

The developing ego, however, becomes like a lampshade that obscures the light of our innate or authentic self. A sense of contraction begins. We’re motivated by fear to behave in certain ways that might have originally been quite alien to us. We begin to believe that what we essentially are isn’t good enough somehow, and that we have to do, act or be ‘better’ in order to gain the favour of others. If there truly was a ‘fall’ of mankind, this is it, and it happens to each of us as a matter of course.

THE SOCIAL SELF

A very large component of the ego is what might be termed the ‘social self’, which ties in with what Freud termed the ‘superego’. The social self developed in response to the people and the world around you. From a very young age we learn that it’s necessary to have other people think favourably of us. We depend on this for our very survival. If we behave in certain ways, other people can be predicted to respond in ways that are conducive to our wellbeing. If we behave well as children, we are rewarded and if we misbehave, we are punished. (Of course, in some children where there’s been a breakdown in natural development and nurturing, behaving badly may be adopted as a means to get attention, but that’s another story.)

It’s here that the social self is born; a mechanism by which we seek to manipulate the environment around us by curtailing the impulses of our innate self in order to get the most favourable response from others. In a sense, we learn to become false. We do so to meet the perceived wants and demands of the people around us. Once the ego and social self develop, they take up residence in our psyche and, unchecked, will continue to hold the reins for pretty much the rest of our lives. The social self is about following rules and structures, doing what’s expected and behaving in ways that will get us maximum benefit and desired outcomes. It’s calculating, imitative and results-oriented.

I remember back in my Social Science days learning about sociologist Erving Goffman and his famed book ‘The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life’. Goffman basically asserted that all our behaviour is like that of actors on a stage. We’re all playing roles, presenting ourselves to the world in ways that we believe will bring us the results we want as well as maintaining the image of ourselves that we want others to have of us. This is the social self through and through.

A large part of what drives the social self is the fear of rejection. I believe the fear of rejection and stigmatisation is part of our genetic makeup. There’s something almost primal about it. Back when we lived among tribes, it was essential that we fit in with the tribe, for to be ostracised and cast out would be to invite almost certain death. So it’s possible that our great need to fit in with the ‘tribe’, to meet expectations and elicit approval is actually a survival instinct. Little wonder it drives so much of human behaviour and forms the core of the social self. The social self is essentially an approval-generating mechanism.

It certainly has its use. It enables us to function in the world. It provides useful guidelines for us as to what is ‘acceptable’ behaviour in the world. The untamed innate self requires boundaries, if only for practicality. If we’re to live in society, we must, to a certain extent, adhere to the norms of society. It’d be too easy to get into trouble otherwise. You might have an impulse to run through a shopping centre stark naked, but unless you’re happy to spend the rest of your day in a police cell, it’s probably best that the social self overrules that particular impulse.

THE PROBLEM

Yet we’ve lost all balance. The social self has become a gargantuan dictator that has suppressed all opposition until pretty much nothing else exists. Any component of body or consciousness that overdevelops like this becomes like a cancer, threatening the health, wellbeing and even the survival of the organism.

The social self has all-but suffocated the innate self and there’s a conflict at the very core of our being. No matter what we achieve in life and what we become, as long as that conflict is simmering within us, we’re not going to be happy or at peace. In fact we’re going to be miserable, depressed, frustrated, unfulfilled and lost. There will be a continual YEARNING eating away at us, an insatiable craving for...something, but we don’t know what. This state of being is what the Buddha called ‘samsara’ and it’s characterised by a deep and profound discontent and dissatisfaction at the core of our being. This is the root of pretty much all our suffering.

It’s the result of a case of mistaken identity. We think we are our egos and social selves, which are but overdeveloped mechanisms in consciousness. Most people are so identified with them and with the roles they’re playing and the image they have of themselves, that they’re aware of nothing beyond it.

That’s the problem of the human condition. We think we are what we think we are -- but we’re not! It’s not real.

We’ve become so disconnected from our true nature, that it’s almost as though a part of us has died inside. Our self esteem and self image have either artificially inflated or plummeted because, at a very deep level, we feel inauthentic and inadequate. And actually that’s true, because we’re totally identified with a mechanism in consciousness that has nothing to do with who or what we truly are. If you don’t feel good enough, it’s because the ‘you’ you’re identifying with isn’t YOU at all.

Life then becomes a drudge and misery, bereft of all spark and joy, and we can never quite fathom why. Buying into the mass hypnosis of our consumer-driven culture, we assume it’s because we don’t have enough ‘stuff’ yet, or because we haven’t achieved enough success or recognition in the eyes of the world. So we keep chasing after objects and attainments, even though they’ve never quite us the lasting peace and wholeness we so desperately crave. Because most people’s attention is almost entirely fixated outwardly, we’re seeking this elusive ‘x factor’ outside of ourselves in objects, situations, experiences or other people.

But the problem isn’t that we haven’t measured up to our culture’s ideal of materialistic success. The fundamental problem is we’ve sold our souls to fit in with what the world thinks we ought to be. A society full of nothing but social selves is inauthentic, superficial, joyless and fundamentally dysfunctional. This distorted view of oneself and life is evident on both a personal and collective level, for it permeates the institutions and structures of society.

THE SOLUTION

What we’re really looking for our SELF and we’re looking in all the wrong places. What we truly want is to reclaim the joy, freshness, aliveness and expansiveness we knew as children before our authentic nature was cemented over by the constructs of ego and social self. And it’s wholly possible to do that. The innate self is never extinguished. What is real can’t be destroyed, for it is the essence of what we are. It is pure, unrefined, unconditioned consciousness or awareness. Without it, we’d cease to be. As in sleep, no consciousness equals no world and no self.

Recovering and reclaiming this core essence is a process of excavation. To get to what is true, you have to dig through the layers of sediment that have built up around this knot in our consciousness, the phantom self of the ego. The social self can still operate and advise, for it has a necessary function enabling us to live harmoniously with other human beings. But it is no longer the driving force behind our lives. We no longer take it, or the ego as being ‘who’ we are, for they clearly aren’t.

The source of our suffering always seems to come down to mistaken identity. It’s therefore essential that we know what we are, or at least what we are not.

Ego arises within us, and a social self is built up based upon the expectations and ‘norms’ of the culture we live in. But they are not us. How could they be? We existed prior to either and we exist beyond either. Both arise only as clusters of thought crystallised into beliefs, habitual reactions and behaviour. Stop thinking, if only for a few seconds, and they cease to be. But something else exists in the stillness. Something prior to and beyond the content of our consciousness -- the pure, simple, direct awareness that we experience when everything else is stripped away. The one constant throughout our entire life, is simply our awareness. All else changes -- our body, thoughts, beliefs, self-image and identity, our circumstances and environment and the roles we assume -- but awareness always remains present, unaffected and unchanged.

This awareness, the base-light of our existence, is our true nature and it expresses through our body and mind as our innate self. We experience it as openness, expansiveness, spontaneity, peace, inspiration and often as a very deep joy, even bliss.

THE GREATEST DECEPTION IN THE HISTORY OF HUMANKIND

Tragically, we’ve been taught to mistrust our innate nature and see our natural impulses and as something dangerous and harmful. Whether consciously or unconsciously, most people have internalised the assertion of poisonous religious doctrines that assert our essential nature is somehow rotten, deficient and lowly, that we’re all ‘born sinners’. We’re led to believe that if we followed our innermost nature and allowed our actions to be directed by our innate self we’d all be lying, thieving, murderous monsters. We’re taught by society that we need rules, regulations, laws and doctrines in order to curb our innate wickedness.

But this is simply a form of psychological warfare that’s been perpetrated upon the masses for millennia in order to control us. It’s not true and it’s actually very harmful. First of all, it’s an inescapable conclusion that so many of the rules and doctrines imposed on us are archaic, inflexible, outdated and no longer serve us as a society. And secondly, because as I have said, a society consisting of nothing more than deadened social selves is inherently dysfunctional. The living become the living dead and society becomes rife with violence, ignorance, hatred and mass depression. This all stems from the conflict at the core of our being; the conflict between the innate self and the social self which has subjugated and smothered it. The external is always but a reflection of the internal. Inner conflict will inevitably be reflected in outer conflict. The only way forward is to resolve that core conflict once and for all.

I’m not talking about destroying or vanquishing the ego, superego or social self. That’s not the answer and would in fact be very harmful. Violence does not beget peace. The answer, as with all things in life, is balance. Currently we’re out of balance and we desperately need to regain our equilibrium.

Because of our conditioned distrust of our innate nature, many might fear that if we follow our innermost impulses and promptings we’d end up being lazy, selfish and hedonistic blobs. I do not believe this is true. That’s far more likely to be the case when we’re disconnected from our selves. In fact, the innate self, as a reflection of the Absolute consciousness/awareness, is characterised by joy, aliveness, compassion and inspiration. It has a natural regard for others and the whole for it does not see itself as in any way separate.

We’re not truly alive until we learn to embody that most essential element of our nature. What’s more, we’ll never find lasting peace and happiness until we learn to resolve the conflict within us and learn to balance all aspects of our nature. The time for change is now...

Living without rules part 1: Are we innately good or bad?

It's generally accepted that society and human beings must function via a framework of rules, regulations, laws and imperatives.

This is based on the implicit assumption that human nature is essential bad, and that without rules to guide us, we'd all be thieving, murderous monsters. We're led to believe that we need rules to restrain our dark base impulses, or else society will spiral out of control and we'd basically annihilate ourselves. (It must be noted at this point, that even with our framework of rules we're already doing a pretty good job of doing that)

I believe the assumption that human nature is essentially bad stems from religious doctrines such as the Christian notion of "original sin". This is at the cornerstone of Christian doctrine and is the foundational tool in manipulating its adherents into compliance. Think about it, if they taught us we are all essentially good then we'd all be happy and we'd have no reason to adhere to the rigorous demands the church tries to impose on us. I perhaps shouldn't place the entire burden of blame on Christianity, because there's certainly enough to go around the other Abrahamic religions, but Christianity is the one I'm most familiar with, which is why I'm primarily focussing on that.

I have a problem with any doctrine that tells us we're innately bad, that we're somehow rotten at our core. It's basically a lie and one that's been used for millennia to manipulate and coerce the masses. It's the most heinous lie in the whole of human history and it's responsible for untold suffering. Now, it's hard to deny that humanity as a whole is exceptionally messed up, and that's to put it politely. You only need to watch five minutes of the news to see how deeply dysfunctional, corrupt, disturbed and insane individuals, organisations, governments and nations can be, and what an unspeakable mess we've made on planet earth.

Does this mean we're intrinsically bad?

I contend that this would be a lazy and short-sighted conclusion to make.

If you disagree with me, go spend some time with babies and very young children. Whether you're a 'kiddie person' or not, I challenge you to look me in the eye and tell me that we don't come into this world in a state of sheer perfection. Very young children are in a state of total oneness with life -- they're open, inquisitive, non-judgemental and everything is fresh to them. They're the epitome of LIFE.

Certainly, they can be cranky, loudly (!) expressive and they have a tendency to poop themselves, but in that state prior to the formation of ego and the framework of psyche, they're totally at one with themselves, in much the same way as animals are. They're authentic, totally in the moment and totally free of the mind-driven bullshit adults get mired in. Most people are never more authentically themselves, never more in touch with life and never more 'perfect', than when they're young infants.

If we were inherently imperfect as religions claim, then as young children we'd be entities of evil; murderous, psychotic and dangerous, until the moment we learn to understand, adopt and be 'saved by' society's rules. Instead, I contend, it's actually the reverse. As babies and young children we're in touch with our essential nature and our innate goodness, wonder, curiosity and joy. (There might be one or two rare exceptions, but these are largely due to breakdowns in proper nurturing, when the child's needs have not been adequately met).

The moment we begin to master language and develop an ego and mind-based identity (basing our notion of 'self' on the name we're given and identifying with the limitations of our physical form and the content of our consciousness), that's when the problems begin. We learn to compartmentalise our experience of life into chunks, into 'good' and 'bad', 'me', 'mine', and 'others'.

When the ego develops, children go from a state of wonder and openness, to wanting to protect and reinforce the newly-formed sense of ego. It goes from being about simply "toys", to "MY toys, not YOUR toys!" This is a normal part of human development, and I'm not saying it's bad, it's just the way it is at our current level of psychological evolution and development as a species.

Now, virtually everyone will be forevermore mired in this sense of ego. Driven by a never-ending succession of desire and fear, they'll be motivated by the need to protect their 'identity' and sense of 'me-ness' above all else. A few very rare individuals may eventually transcend the ego framework and rediscover the original state of wholeness experienced prior to the appearance of this psychological scaffolding and mis-identification with form. This is essentially what 'enlightenment' is and it's uncommon. The best most people can hope for is reaching a state of inner balance and not completely allowing the conceptual framework to imprison consciousness and drive every action and reaction.

The mind-driven sense of identity that naturally arises in children and co-opts consciousness is a given. As I said, it's not wrong and it's not bad, it just is. However, it is the source of pretty much all our suffering. Virtually all our behaviour and motivation is driven by the fundamental need to maintain the conceptual sense of self; the image we hold in our minds of who we think we are.

Any threat to this mental self is seen as a threat to our very existence because we mistakenly assume it's the totality of what we are. That's why people are willing to fight and die for their beliefs. This ego/pseudo-self is like a magnet, drawing various content to itself, gradually building it up until it becomes bigger and more seemingly substantial. Layers and layers build up around it; layers composed of thoughts and beliefs, conditioning, habits, opinions, likes and dislikes, desires and fears.

It becomes this gargantuan entity that we think of as 'us'. It completely dominates our lives, although most people are quite unconscious of all this -- they just assume they are what they think they are, and that what they think, they are! It's the 'person' we think we are; the totality of 'me'.

The funny thing is, it's not real.

It's a kind of 'ghost in the machine'. It -- this entity we think of as 'us' -- has no inherent, independent existence of its own.

Think of consciousness -- the original unconditioned consciousness we had as babies and pre-ego children -- as being like a rope. Doesn't matter where this rope came from, or where it begins or ends, for that's another discussion entirely. What happens when the ego develops is a knot forms in the rope. This knot becomes the entity we think of as 'ourself'. The knot is somehow magnetised and begins drawing all sorts of mental substrate toward and onto itself, forming the all-consuming, all-dominating sense of 'me'.

But a knot has no independent existence of its own. It has an apparent existence. It seems to be something separate from the rest of the rope, but it isn't, it's just the rope folded in on itself, creating the appearance of something separate. Eventually, at the end of our lives, the rope is untied and all the mental substrate that was magnetised to it falls away. We're back to what we were: pure unconditioned consciousness, although this time it slips back into unmanifested potentiality where it rests, until the next movement of consciousness occurs.

This is a lot to grasp for many people. It completely overturns everything we've probably always assumed to be true about ourselves and the very nature of our identity and existence. But I think it is, nevertheless logical and it can be verified by a degree of self-investigation.

Consider this. People's entire sense of identity and the content of ego (the stuff magnetised to the knot in the rope) is entirely dependent on memory. If I could press a button and completely erase your memory, your entire conceptual identity would instantaneously cease. Yet you'd still be alive and aware. You'd be back to that open, undefined, expansive state we all knew as infants, when we were most in line with our essential nature prior to the influence of conditioning and conceptualisation.

Of course, a new identity would soon begin to coalesce, but the fact this 'identity' (and all the content of ego and mind) is entirely interchangable, means that logically it cannot be YOU. It's all just objects in consciousness; phenomena. You are the consciousness; you are the noumenon beyond the phenomena. It's worth reflecting on this with an open mind.

So what happens when we wake up from this fabricated sense of self, from the knot in consciousness that we erroneously took to be ourselves? The answer us liberation from suffering caused when other people, the world and life appear to oppose, threaten or damage one's fabricated sense of identity. This is basically the essence of the Buddha's teaching 2,500 years ago. He called it 'the end of suffering'. It's also the freedom to be, do and become whatever we want, whatever we feel drawn to do, because we've transcended previous limitations and definitions we've placed on ourselves.

It's also the only means of reaching a true and lasting inner peace in life. The world is as the world is, and other people are as they are, but we stop resisting it. Instead we accept and work with, and around it. Life flows more smoothly when we stop creating our own obstructions in the flow. We no longer see ourselves as separate from life; I mean, how could we be? There's no 'us' and 'life'. We are life. It's one totality.

Let's go back to the original question of whether or not we're intrinsically bad. How can we possibly be? It seems to me that it's actually quite the contrary, that we're intrinsically perfect. We come into this world perfect and, as we develop -- as our ego is formed and conditioning moulds our psyche -- we accumulate layer upon layer of muck, creating distortions in the way consciousness is expressed through us. These distortions are not 'us' and they're not in any way a reflection of our true nature.

We're like candles in a glass jar. Consciousness is the light, and the jar represents our mind and psyche. If the jar is covered in dirt, then the light struggles to shine through. If the jar is clear and undistorted, the candle shines brightly through the glass. The same is true for us. Don't mistake a dirty jar as being evidence that there's no light within, or that the dirt on the jar is the totality in essence.

It's this misperception that's at the root of so many religions and philosophies. It reflects an inadequate understanding of the nature of reality, consciousness and self. It's a delusion that's caused and continues to cause untold misery and it's time it was challenged. The way we're living as a species is no longer tenable. It's based on misunderstanding and misperception and it's time it was changed.

This might be challenging stuff many people, but I believe questioning the nature of one's assumed identity is really the only way to move beyond the great miasma of human suffering. Knowledge is power and Self-Knowledge is ultimate power; the power to transcend suffering. Are you brave enough to be part of the vanguard?

Next up, I want to explore why living without rules might actually be the only way to save the species. And I'm all for saving species, whether it's whales, pandas or human beings. The latter are proving quite a challenge, but I have some ideas. Watch this space...

The wisdom of inconsistency

"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I love that quote. It turns consistency on its head. Most of us think of consistency as something very positive and important, and certainly there are instances where it's necessary to maintain a consistent attitude. But here's where the contrarian in me slips out. Rather than becoming more and more consistent as I progress through life, I'm instead starting to celebrate and encourage my own inconsistency.

To maintain a "foolish consistency" is to rigidly stick to your beliefs, ideas and opinions without ever questioning them and without venturing out of your little mental cul de sac, which may be comfortable, but is nevertheless a prison. Too often consciousness gets trapped in crystallised mental formations: rigid, dogmatic beliefs, inflexible opinions, erroneous viewpoints and countless unconscious habits and patterns.

To live like this is to not live at all. We just sleep-walk our way through life, habitually, unconsciously and automatically reacting to life and other people. The masquerade of our "social self" is something contrary to what might be called our "essential self", which is what we really are: unconditioned awareness, free-flowing consciousness.

I'm wary of beliefs. I know it's almost impossible to exist in this world without forming myriad beliefs about this, that and the next thing.

But beliefs are constraining and, loathe though we may be to admit it, are largely erroneous. We tend to mistake our belief about a thing as being the thing itself. We also have a tendency to worship our own beliefs and belief systems, as they form the basis of our "self-identity". People are literally prepared to kill and be killed for their beliefs, simply because a threat to their belief system is a perceived threat to the essence of their identity (a totally fabricated, mind-created identity at that, but that's the topic of another discussion).

Furthermore, to quote Robert Anton Wilson (I'm an all-round quoting monkey, I know):

"Belief is the death of intelligence. As soon as one believes a doctrine of any sort, or assumes certitude, one stops thinking about that aspect of existence."

Perhaps now it's easier to see what Emerson was getting at. Stubbornly clinging to our beliefs and viewpoints and thus upholding a "foolish consistency" reduces us to nothing more than walking sets of conditioned behaviour and belief systems.

We close ourselves off to life, content to remain in a cosy yet blinded little mental bubble. It's a sorry way for consciousness to exist, for it's trapped and limited when it yearns to be free and to flow like water. Rather than existing in a state of vast expansiveness like the ocean -- a true reflection of our essential nature -- we become nothing more than little isolated rock pools filled with stagnant water.

That's why I now actually see inconsistency as a positive thing (although, like anything in life, moderation is the key). Why be consistent in my opinions, viewpoints, tastes, likes and dislikes? I no longer take my opinions quite as seriously as I used to. I still have them, and I express them when I feel the wish, but I no longer see them as absolutely important or everlasting. Some of my beliefs and viewpoints are very static, such as those relating to topics such as human and animal rights. Others are changing all the time, week by week. Music and food I like this month, I might be less keen on the following month. Artists I always loved might begin to hold less appeal, and those I was never into might suddenly 'click'. One week I announce I'm having a break from blogging because I've run out of things to say, then the next day I write two or three new blog entries. It might confuse others, but embracing this 'internal inconsistency' rather than trying to uphold rigidly consistent viewpoints makes life much more more fun and interesting.

If you're really honest with yourself, I'm sure you can see how your opinions, viewpoints and beliefs are changing all the time. They're not generally as static and set in stone as you might like to believe. The opinions and beliefs you now hold are no doubt different in subtle or major ways to those you held when you were a child, or those you'll hold as an elderly person. In fact, they might even be different to those you'll hold next week or next month.

Observing the natural inconsistency of our mental content frees us from overly identifying with it. It's still there, but we can take it less seriously and perhaps be a little more open-minded, freer in our opinions and find it easier to consider alternative viewpoints.

And also, here's a very important point -- the less meaning we invest in our thoughts, beliefs and opinions, the less we identify with them and invest our sense of 'self' in them...the less we suffer!

Life becomes a little easier, more peaceful and it flows just a bit more. Consciousness is freed from its prison and that's one of the greatest steps to finding inner peace and joy. Consciousness just wants to flow freely and be unobstructed and unconstrained. If we allow it to flow, and follow it wherever it wants to go, then we can be amazed at the sheer feeling of liberation and exhilaration we experience.

So, my invitation is to stop being "foolishly consistent". Allow yourself to be inconsistent whenever you damn well feel like it. We may tend to be "creatures of habit", but there's no fun in that and it kind of deadens us to life. Instead be open, aware and see every moment as new and fresh. Allow yourself to relate to life in different ways. Always be prepared to re-evaluate your opinions, beliefs, ideas and even your tastes and preferences. Celebrate inconsistency! Have fun.

The origin and nature of THOUGHT

Have you ever stopped to wonder where your thoughts come from? Or are you so taken in by every movement of your mind that you’re barely even aware that you’re thinking most the time? 

WHO is that thinks -- and who is it that’s aware of what's being thought? Do you think, or do your thoughts essentially just think themselves? These are all very important questions, and the answers might well surprise you.

I invite you to investigate for yourself. A great practise is simply to sit and observe your thoughts. Ask yourself, “I wonder what my next thought will be?” Then sit quietly, alert and attentive, watching and waiting. You’ll likely come to some really interesting conclusions. 

I came to realise that 'WE’RE' not actually the thinker! Oh, sure, if we want to reflect on something, we can consciously direct our thoughts with our intention. But most of the time, we’re not the ones doing the thinking. If we were, then we’d always be able to control and predict our thoughts, but we can’t. Thoughts just happen, in awareness, like clouds of vapour rising up from the ocean, existing for a limited lifespan, then dissolving away again. Try the above practise, and keep doing it -- it’s fun, relaxing and liberating. You’ll see that you’re not actually the one doing the thinking. It’s more like the thinking is doing you.

Thoughts just seem to rise and fall. ‘We’ are not the thoughts, for we cannot be that which is observable -- we are obviously the subject, not the object. That said, when we’re in our ‘normal’ mode of consciousness, we tend to get completely consumed and caught up in our thinking, automatically believing in and identifying with every thought, investing our very sense of self and being in these fickle movements of mind.

But if we’re not our thoughts, then what are we? 

Investigate for yourself -- what is it that’s watching and is aware of the thoughts...?

No word or description is adequate for it, but it might be referred to as the 'watcher', the 'witness' or simply pure awareness. This, I believe, is our natural state, and it’s always with us, throughout our entire lives. No matter what’s happening outwardly or inwardly, no matter what our thoughts and beliefs are and no matter what configuration our personal psychology assumes, that pure space of awareness is ALWAYS there in the background, underlying our every experience in life. Without it, we’d simply cease to be. It’s like the paper on which the words (our thoughts and experiences) are written. Take away the paper and there’s nothing. But that’s a whole other discussion.

Back to thoughts. Upon observation, you can see that thoughts are like clouds passing across the sky of your mind or awareness. Sometimes they’re light and fluffy and other times they’re thick and stormy, covering the whole sky. Sometimes they move across the sky quickly, chopping and changing, and other times, such as in meditation, sleep and times of deep relaxation, they slow down and perhaps even subside for a time.

So where do they come from? I don't believe thoughts 'magically' arise out of nowhere, although it might seem like that. The activity of our minds and the overall structure of our psyche is largely driven by what what in Sanskrit is called 'vasanas', or mental tendencies. Vasanas are like grooves that are created in the mind, much the same way as water flowing down a mountain carves grooves and channels in the rock. 

You might think of consciousness as being like water and it tends to flow along these grooves and this is what largely determines the content of our mind and pysche. Of course, it's possible to create new grooves and new vasanas by redirecting our consciousness and focussing on different thoughts, but that takes conscious effort. Outside of the 'base light' of awareness (the ‘paper’ on which the content appears), people's personalities and the structure of their minds are largely just vasanas and conditioning in operation, influenced by other factors such as environment, heredity and culture. 

This is what brought me to the realisation that it's not really 'me' that thinks all the thoughts that ripple across my mind. Upon investigation I came to see that the thinking just seems to flow of its own accord, as consciousness moves along those grooves. Kinda groovy, huh?

So thoughts just tend to occur, driven largely by our conditioning and vasanas. They don’t have any independent existence/intelligence of their own, as they’re just the flow of consciousness assuming certain configurations. 

This isn’t to say we need be slave to these thoughts. On the contrary, when we realise that they’re just thoughts, movements in consciousness, then we can experience a tremendous amount of liberty and freedom from them!

I used to suffer depression for several years, and I can see now how it was caused by the thoughts that were habitually occurring in my mind. I no longer take my thoughts nearly as seriously, because I’m very clear that they’re just thoughts -- they’re not reality, just crude (and very often distorted) reflections of reality. The depressed thoughts were just a kind of weather-front passing through me. When I learned to dis-identify from it and just witness it, I began to transcend it -- and it passed. 

I highly recommend the practise of simply observing your thoughts. It creates a healthy detachment. Rather than being helplessly buffeted by every thought that crosses your mind, you come to realise that they are just the dream-like movements of consciousness and they have only the meaning you ascribe to them. They just rise and fall. They might be part of a chain of thoughts (clusters of thoughts can form and create big entangled structures that become beliefs, habitual thoughts and/or preoccupations) or they might be totally random. 

When we're 'unconscious', which means automatically buying into every thought that passes our mind, then we’re a slave to our thoughts and they can make us suffer -- and how! But when we simply observe and allow consciousness to flow as it does, without grasping onto it or obstructing it, then there's a tremendous freedom and liberty. 

Nisargadatta said something that really stuck with me: he advised us to see the content of our consciousness -- our mind, thoughts, beliefs, emotions, etc -- as being something foreign or alien to us, something that's NOT 'us', but a process that's happening within us ('us' being, at the deepest level, the space of pure awareness I spoke of). This might be a radical notion to many, but I've found it very helpful. I still experience occasional low moods like everyone else, but I find it virtually impossible to be depressed these days, because I no longer unquestioningly BELIEVE all the thoughts that cross my mind, or give them an importance they simply don’t warrant. 

When our focus is freed from the movements of our mind, it can be redirected to the witness -- the awareness -- the sense of being, or whatever you want to call it. And in that core level of awareness, is an incredible sense of peace, contentment and joy. It’s the happiness we spend our lives seeking in the outer world and in other people, but which can only ever truly be found within us. This is probably the most important discovery we’ll ever make.

So, try it. Watch your thoughts. Go beyond your them and trace them to their source. Be open, curious and aware. You might be amazed at what you discover.

Resurrection

I must seem like such a fickle creature. But actually there are reasons behind my fickleness. I decided I was going to close this blog and start a new one -- which I did. I liked the thought of a fresh start, a blank canvas and a taking slightly different approach to my blog content. I started this particular blog several years ago and I've changed a lot in that time. My perspectives, my understanding and my approach to life, spirituality and philosophy have shifted, grown and evolved a great deal and I wanted to draw a line under the stuff I've written in the past and start back at zero. 

It's been fun. But the thing is, despite having stopped posting here, this old blog was still getting about 10 times the number of page views than my newer blog (which in fact hardly anyone was reading!). I don't exactly know how these things work, I assume it's because it's because it's older and more established and has a greater number of 'back links' or whatever. But it seemed a bit pointless to spend the amount of time I have been creating new essays and blog content and posting it to a blog that hardly gets any hits, when I could post it a blog that routinely gets quite a few. 

So, I now end that particular experiment and am resuscitating this blog. I'll update it with the content from my aborted new blog, and keep this one going. Hope you'll bear with me. 

In addition to this, I also have another blog over on Wordpress, Dreamlight Fugitive, which is focussed on creativity, writing and art. And I've been updating my Daily Tao blog with completely re-written and re-edited commentaries on all 81 verses of the Tao Te Ching. Hope you enjoy :)

The (Neo) Advaita Trap

Back already! Wow. So I realised I will pop in from time to time when I have something to share.

This video is actually rather hilarious; certainly if you've had an experience of the "neo advaita" crowd that seems to proliferate the internet and that has spread across the spiritual marketplace like fungus. Now, I am very drawn to authentic advaita and could write at length about it. I've found the teachings of sages such as Ramana Maharshi and Nisargadatta, and some of the advaita scriptures to be extremely helpful.

What seems to have happened however is that advaita has been distorted by a great many people, mainly westerners I believe, who have created a distorted variation and who sadly tend to become exactly the kind of obstinate, superior pains in the arse portrayed in the video. I'm sure you'll have encountered some of them. I feel there are a great many people out there who genuinely believe they're enlightened simply because their mind has latched onto a certain set of perspectives and beliefs relating to nonduality. They maybe have awakened a little, but if they have to spend all their time 'teaching' others how wrong they are and how 'enlightened' they are, then...meh. There's nothing stinks more than the spiritual ego. They serve as a lesson to us all how easy it is for the ego to hijack virtually anything. Truly, nothing is sacred to the ego! Nothing requires greater vigilance than the 'spiritual path'.

Enjoy the vid, it's really funny:

The Advaita Trap - The Cartoon
by: nondualxtra

Silence is golden

It's funny, I keep starting to write blog posts, but I can never seem to get beyond the first couple of paragraphs. It's like trying to build sandcastles when the sand is too dry and the whole thing just sort of collapses! 

Perhaps it's because I don't have anything that really, truly needs to be said. I've had a few ideas for topics, but the moment I get down to the nitty-gritty of writing, I realise that it's either something I'm not fully ready to write about, or it's something that doesn't need to be written about. I'm not going to churn out stuff just to fill up a quota. I'd rather just sit in the silence and watch clouds (it's neat - I recommend it).

So, for now the blog is on hiatus. Whether it'll be a long or short hiatus I have no idea. I do know that I've been meaning to wind this down for a while now. I have two new blogs in the planning stages, so I'll still be around. But those are on hold as well until I feel I have something worth writing about, something that needs to be written. Until then, take care and have fun. 

Is Art Important?

As an artist who hasn't exactly made it 'big' (think considerably less than big), I was recently questioning my future and wondering whether I should be devoting my energy to something else. As the economy continues to flounder and as our esteemed leaders continue to make things worse, people are tightening their belts and luxuries such as the arts are obviously the first things to be abstained from. 

Always one to question just about everything, I found myself wondering whether art really matters. Is it really important? Is it worth pursuing? Or is it just a self-indulgence that has no real value to our lives? (When considering this question, I was reflecting not merely on visual art, but also music, prose and poetry, sculpture, film-making, etc)

I instinctively feel that art has importance. But there are two kinds of art, I think. There's art that's created simply to make money and is tailored to a specific market or audience and which usually adheres to a specific formula while perhaps simultaneously attempting to pass itself off as something 'different'. This might sound exceptionally snobbish, but to me, that isn't art, it's merely product. Most of the music industry is product and in our X-Factor era that's a fact that's hard to dispute. I feel the same about a great deal of the publishing and film industry. It's driven by profit and the desire to sell; any claims of wanting to find genuine artistic innovation are usually just lip-service.

Product  generally has mass-market appeal and is largely consumed as entertainment. Nothing wrong with entertainment, I like to be entertained as much as the next guy (although maybe perhaps not QUITE so much), but entertainment rarely transcends its function. There are certainly lots of instances where it does, where films, music and books actually do take risks and wholly deserve to be called 'art', but in the vast marketplace it's still the exception rather than the rule. I’m not decrying this, simply pointing out a fact. People need to make money and they do that by selling products to as many people as will buy it. It’s the way the world works. 

With regard to the visual arts, it's a little harder to find the distinction between art and product. It's a grey area. Artists need to eat like everyone else, so they usually need to have some kind of target market in mind when they create. The quality and importance of the work is entirely subjective and that’s probably the way it should be.

I was at an exhibition just last week and it reinforced my feeling that in order for art to be taken seriously as 'art' it helps if it's grim and bleak. In order to be a 'cool' artist the general criteria seems to be that your work has to be edgy, dark and a little depressing or -- even better -- repulsive! Now this could all just be in my head, and I don't even take my own thoughts and opinions that seriously any more, so I urge you not to, either. But it's possible that even some of the most fiercely independent and 'out there' artists are still just creating stuff that they consciously or unconsciously think fits a formula of ‘cool’ and ticks the right boxes. 

Myself, I really don't care what's cool or not. Generally I'm drawn to create things that inspire people rather than nauseate and repulse them. I mean, life is difficult enough, why should art confound that by making us ever more miserable? But that said, when I view someone's work, even if I don't like it, I still usually respect it as a creative endeavour, as an expression of the artist and an artistic statement -- whether or not I agree with that statement.

So why is art important then? 

It's not important simply for making statements. Anyone can make a statement and like anything that's mind-generated, it ultimately doesn't mean that much. A lot of the time it's straight from the ego, and there's already enough of the human ego stamped over this world of ours. Art in service of the ego may still be art, but it's not, in my view, important art.

I believe art is important when it has a transcendent quality; when it points us beyond the surface-level miasma of humdrum human existence -- what Buddhists refer to as samsara -- and hints of the possibility of something greater, something beyond. I believe art, in its highest expression, serves to remind us who we are. Through images, stories, narratives and sound, it reflects back to us what we truly are. There's a place for examining the surface-level world of maya, but we don't really need art for that, we simply need to look around us or turn on the six o'clock news. 

But it's possible for art to take us deeper into ourselves, inviting us ask questions about ourselves and life itself. Who are we? Where did this consciousness come from and where is it going? What is the world? Where did it come from and where is it going? Is it everything we've always assumed it to be, or is it possible we've somehow misperceived the universe, ourselves and our relation to it?

I've come to learn that the answer is never in the answers. It's in the questions.

At best, I believe, art can make us reflect upon these questions; questions that serve to bring us back to ourselves. Just about everything else in the world is pulling our attention outward and distracting us from OUR SELVES (which is actually the very thing we're truly seeking in life -- direct, conscious awareness of our own being).

Some time ago I was sent one of those email questionnaire things and one of the questions was "do you prefer art or technology?" and I was amazed at the number of people (practically everyone) that said technology. I probably shouldn't have been, for nowadays technology is almost like a drug or religion for many people. There’s nothing wrong with that in itself, but what can technology do but distract us from ourselves? It's never going to compel us to venture inward and perhaps, in time, stumble upon the in-built but long-dormant self-realisation mechanism -- which is the only legitimate end to the cycle of suffering that drives us to seek out distractions in the first place.

I still feel compelled to create art, to write and create music because I feel something within me wants to be born into the world. I don't think it's in service of the ego or just to express emotions or viewpoints (although the latter point I suppose you could debate). If there's any purpose at all behind what I do, it's because there's some element -- and it's not really on a conscious level -- that would like to use this channel to spark something in others. A spark of inspiration, of remembering, of insight? Or just an opening that might prompt further questions? I'm not entirely sure. I don't feel it's entirely 'me' that's controlling the process. It just is. It's unfolding as it wants to.

I first had an inkling as to this when I began my first novel, a number of years ago. I thought - "yeah, my novel is going to change the world and make people happier and more enlightened." I think my ego crept in, in the nicest and kindest possible way. Now, I have no such expectations. I don't know if what I make will sell or interest anyone, much less whether it will enlighten them. That's really not my business and I no longer have any investment in the outcome. I just do what I feel compelled to do, because I have to and because a little part of me would wither away if I didn't. A rose doesn't bloom in order to make people happy and get some kind of a reaction. It doesn't hold itself back, either. It just does what it does, because...!

So that's basically why I feel art is important. There are many artists (not necessarily mainstream ones or ones with great followings and publicity) whose work serves as kind of opening into something greater. It can serve as a catalyst that makes people stop, reflect and open themselves to new possibilities and new ways of seeing life. It can pierce the dream bubble and spark something quite wonderful, enabling the viewer/experiencer to blossom themselves. Maybe they'll then bring that same essence into the world where it will have a similar effect on others, whether it's in the form of art, behaviour, actions or simply BEING.

No motives though. It just happens -- or it doesn't. And it has an effect on others and the world -- or it doesn't. Art is alive and when it comes from a place beyond the ego and beyond consumer concerns and market pressures, it has the ability to change us and to change the world. Not change us in the sense of making us something other than we are, but simply removing the clouds of illusion that currently obstruct so many of us from being what we are. Art then can be a great wake-up call, which will resonate for those that are ready for it and go straight over the heads of those that aren't.

For now, if I'm able, I'll continue to respond to the creative impulses that compel me to create art in different forms, knowing that the impulse to create is there for a reason, that I'm not truly in control of it and that the reasons and outcome are way beyond my control. Some artists fall into the trap of ego, mistakenly believing it's them that is responsible for their creations. But for me, it's the humblest job in the world. I don't own creativity, I can't control it and I'm fully aware that it's not really me that does anything (and frankly I don’t even consider myself particularly talented). 

It just happens and I’m very cool with that, because it feels good. I'm really very clear on that point -- and it's a strangely liberating realisation!

The Headless Way

Hello! Long time no blog! There is a new entry in the works - I know what I want to write, but I just haven't figured out how to write it. It'll come, when the time is right.

In the meantime, check out this - http://www.headless.org/english-welcome.htm  It's a website based on the work of Douglas E Harding and his rather novel, quirky and fun method of self-inquiry: "the headless way". 

I've never come across anything quite like it. Try doing the "experiments", which are fun experiential too for leading us into a deeper awareness of what we truly are. I haven't done them all yet, I've been doing them one at a time over a period of weeks, but I love them so far and wouldn't hesitate to recommend them. I've come to view self-inquiry as THE most important spiritual practise there is, particularly in terms of self-realisation. This is an offbeat and neat way to approach it :)

Some notes I found on the website, in the words of Douglas Harding:

"So much unnecessary stress has its origin in identifying exclusively with the way others see us. Overlooking and invalidating my own point of view, I make a mistake about my deepest identity and find myself up against the world, separate from others, limited in my resources, vulnerable to all kinds of danger, and in the end, destined to die. It was vital to become self-conscious, to grow out of infancy into adulthood, but this need not be the end of the journey.

Each of us can now go on to see Who we really are. This doesn't mean that we regress to infancy - we can be aware of both our True Identity and our human identity. However, becoming aware of our True Identity means we discover a stress-free space at the heart of our sometimes stressed lives. It is up to each of us how much we pay attention to this Resource.

If we don't drink from this Well, we will probably find ourselves complaining of thirst, or even dying of thirst. And all the while the Water is so close, and free! Take a drink. Now. What have you got to lose? Your self! What have you got to gain? Everything, including your self!

[...]


If I fail to see what I am (and especially what I am not) it’s because I’m too busily imaginative, too “spiritual”, too adult and knowing, too credulous, too intimidated by society and language, too frightened of the obvious to accept the situation exactly as I find it at this moment. Only I am in a position to report on what’s here. A kind of alert naivety is what I need. It takes an innocent eye and an empty head (not to mention a stout heart) to admit their own perfect emptiness.

Forgetting what I'm told and imagine, what society with its common sense and the science of the object tell me to believe, and at last daring to look for myself and to take seriously what I find - well, what do I find? I find surprise upon surprise, beyond my wildest dreams. I see that what I had believed to be true of me and of the world is a pack of lies! "